Arise and Shine for the glory of the Lord has risen among you - Isaiah 60:1
I am in an expanse of time where the seasons are changing. I can feel the change. I can sense things are changing. Depending on the approaching season, is the level of excitement or sadness. I do not look forward to the winter season one little tiny bit. I don't like cold. I don't like being barricaded inside a building with no fresh air or warm breezes for months upon months. When fall turns into winter, I am not impressed or excited at all. Winter is death. It's silence. It's barrenness. It's isolation. It's darkness. It's stale and cold.
There's such an excitement inside of me when I begin to see the signs of the winter season turning into spring. I begin to see and hear the birds sing new songs. I begin to see the hard, frozen ground thaw. You see garbage and trash under bushes that became temporary freezers hiding away all the wind blown debris. I even welcome picking up the garbage and throwing it away. There is such a hope and thrill knowing that my flowers will soon bloom and trees will sprout life buds.
When spring turns into summer there's not too much of a change. The days get hotter and the nights cooler. The sun shines brilliantly and gardens are in full blossom. Summer is so perfect. Stormy nights and rainbows and butterflies and hummingbirds are a few of my favorite visitors of summer. Knowing the ocean is roaring and the sand is hiding away tiny treasures of shells and vivid colors of sea glass is a blissful notion. Favorite fruits and vegetables are abundant and the smell of tanning lotions and citronella candles tickle my nostrils.
Although fall is so beautiful displaying amazing colors of harvest, there is also a sadness that comes upon me; knowing that my favorite days will soon be passing. I love the bountiful blessings that autumn brings, but it's truly bittersweet because I know that darkness, coldness, and death of everything I love is knocking on the door of change.
Here I am in a season of change. I believe I'm in a season of springtime. I am seeing sprouts of newness all around me. I see the former things that were dead and cold quickly waning. It's like March in my season I'm in. March is very up and down. You may have an 80 degree day one week and the next week 24 inches of snow. You tread through March really not knowing what to expect. That is the season I am in. You venture into March with hope and dread. Sometimes, March feels like forever...March Madness...is this month EVER gonna end. So tired of winter and death....so over it all, yet looking forward to the hope of newness...Up and down days...some days feel amazing other days like they will never end. I try to focus on the sunshine...some days the clouds cover it victoriously. Other days, the brilliance of the warmth of it's radiant beams disperse the clouds and skies are blue and clear.
I try to stay full of hope...Hopeful...I want to be so saturated with the warmth of God's love that no bitter frozone could touch the fiery passion of His presence in my life. Some days I need to throw alittle accelerant on the blaze of my love for him...When I keep my focus on the one who will walk with me through every change....when I do not look to the left or to the right and Know that this too will pass, I am strengthened enough to open my bible and read His promises.
My God is for me. He is never against me. He will never leave me. He will never forsake me. He is always good. He is always God. He changes not. Even though seasons change, He does NOT change. Even though my emotions change, my circumstances change, my life changes....God DOES NOT CHANGE.
Change is a really good thing. Change is necessary! Change is important. We are transformed from glory to glory. If we did not change, we would stay the same...When things remain the same, dormancy occurs...complacency happens...passivity is all around. Could you imagine if life suddenly became like Ground Hog's Day? Every morning you woke up, you were stuck in winter and nothing progressed forward! O Please Jesus, wake me up from that horrible dream now!
This is a movie so we can look at it like being stuck in the same season over and over and over would have benefit to it...but that's Hollywood. Changing of seasons is important. Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result. As I am in this season of change, I want to be one that will be ready IN season and OUT of season. I want to be one that has FRUIT available in the winter season and in the HARVEST season. I want the Lord to use my life and the transformations of my days for his glory...So, I chose to embrace the changes that are fast approaching. I will look forward and know that God holds my days in His hands. He wants the best for me...So as one season is ending and another beginning, I hold fast to my faith and say, "Lord, I trust you through it all!"
"Choose to call out to God and Worship Him in the midst."
Father,
I thank you for strengthening me through this process of change. I want to be a vessel useful for your glorious works...So do what you need to do in me to prepare me for the next season of my life. I pray you are glorified in all I do. You are good! You are faithful! You are the same today, yesterday and forever. You change not. Even though I change and transform from glory to glory, you do not change. You are reliable...You are dependable...You are my hiding place. You are my refuge. You are my ever present help in the time of need and I know that you will work all things out for my good. Thank you God for being so good to me. I love you!
Arise and shine for the glory of the Lord has risen among you. Isaiah 60:1
Sometimes I feel as though life is walking on a tight rope. It's a fine line between pleasing the flesh and pleasing God. Lines sometimes blur and the road narrows. Once I gave my life fully over to Jesus, I never, ever wanted to look back. I was so depressed and hopeless. I couldn't see very far in front of me. Everything was dark and chaotic. Every decision I made at that time seemed to only lead downward...and I couldn't stand without falling. I didn't know how to pray. I didn't have anyone pointing towards the light. We were all in the dark. That was all we knew. So when the light of Jesus' love came shining down like a beacon of hope, I never wanted to ever not walk in that light.
Life has been so far from perfect since that day I surrendered my life to Jesus...but let me tell you something...It has been so much more full of hope, peace, joy, light and love. I had to battle to get to where I am now. I had to fight. I had to fight my fleshly desires of longing for destructive behaviors. It was how I was conditioned to live. It was all I knew...As Holy Spirit shined his search light into the deep places of my insides...my heart...my brokenness. I had to choose whether or not I would give him those parts or I would remained ashamed, hidden and condemned in those deep, dark places.
How much we want to be healed and set free is always our own choice. When I decided to stop smoking. I had to fight that demon of addiction. I had the power of choice. When I decided to stop drinking. I had to chose...I had to fight that demon of addiction. When the enemy would torment me over past pains and aches...I had to fight the accusations and lies that would have led me right back into that dark world. See, we have the power of choice. We can chose this day whom we are gonna serve.
We don't realize that everyday is a battle. It's a battle for our souls. God has a destiny for our lives and so does the prince of this world. The flesh loves the comforts that the prince of this world offers. Instant gratifications. Instant pain relief...Instant fixes...Instant releases from tormenting thoughts....Instant pleasure...Instant fulfillment...Both with the instant empowerments...come a quickly and sudden let down of fulfillment and desires. We are usually left with more of an emptiness than what we started out with. We were made for purity. We were made for commitment, covenant, loyalty, perseverance, righteousness...We are made in the image of the trinity...Father, Son, Holy Spirit. In Genesis...in the beginning....God said, "Come let US, make man in OUR image..." So all the potential goodness we read in the word of God is our potential.
Even though it may seem we have a bend toward evil desires by succumbing to the lusts of our flesh...We also have a bend towards righteousness and holiness...we are made in the image of Christ. Our flesh will always be weak...Our spirit will always be willing. It's a continual battle. We are in a daily battle. So the people who say, there is no god....In essence they are bowing down and serving something. When we serve our addictions, our lusts, our sinful nature...it becomes our lord. It is our master. Why do you think so many people say, "I just can't stop. I just can't quit. I just can't...." They have become the slave to the very thing they give into. Jesus came to show us the pathway to the Light...to step up out of that darkness and even though we become a slave to righteousness...it's so much better than being a slave to sin. There is hope, peace, love, joy, righteousness, goodness, kindness, every good thing abounds in and around us because we are an open heaven...The kingdom of God is within us. So even though the darkness surrounds us, we become the light because the light of the world dwells inside of us.
I started this morning asking the Lord what He had for me in scripture and I heard him say this:
Proverbs 8:13-36- You can read this on your own. I will put a link to biblegateway. Proverbs 8
"The FEAR of the LORD is to HATE evil! Pride and ARROGANCE and the evil way and the Perverted speech I hate." The fear of the Lord is also the beginning of wisdom. Proverbs 8 is talking about the benefit of Wisdom. It will protect us and guide us in our life. Because everything starts with knowing that in the darkness, God still sees you...JESUS is the LIGHT of the World. So you cannot hide from God. Scripture says that even if you go to SHEOL (HELL) you cannot hide from him. I see so much pain on the faces of such beautiful creations...God's lost sons and daughters and my heart hurts for them. Because stubbornness, pride and arrogance keeps them separated from God's love. They chose darkness over the light because of pride...Pride comes before a fall...That pride puffs up and it's not love. The prince of this world...wanted to BE god...He wanted to ASCEND higher than God's throne...He became so full of pride and arrogance. That is why this verse is saying the fear of the Lord is the hatred of Evil. Pride and arrogance and perverted speech are the fruit of who people are bowing down to. It's the evidence of the god with a little 'g' they are serving.
There is another way. It's a way that leads to life. It's to walk in wisdom. It's to surrender to the one that loves us more than we could ever possibly know or understand.
The specific scripture I heard the Lord say to dwell on this morning was Proverbs 8:15.
Wisdom is saying, "By me kings reign, and rulers decree justice!"
God seats us in heavenly places to rule and reign with him in justice and righteousness...We have royalty in our blood....We are made in the image of the king of kings and Lord of Lords. We just have to surrender everything to God and trust him...Trust him in every detail of our lives...
Father,
We thank you. We thank you for the hope of your word. We thank you for the light of Jesus's love that shines into the deep dark places inside of our brokenness and calls us out of darkness into your glorious light. We thank you that you love us and you want us to walk in all that you created us to walk in. Father, I pray you strengthen our spirits so we can resist the devil and he will flee from us. I thank you that you strengthen us to stand up to the fleshly desires that weigh us down and cause us to self-destruct. I thank you for you love. I thank you for the blood of Jesus. I thank you for loving a wretch like me.
Arise and Shine for the Glory of the Lord has risen among you! Isaiah 60:1
It's been a while since I've written a blog and I am feeling the nudging of Holy Spirit to begin stirring up that gift inside. I'm in a new season. I'm in a fresh season. The way I heard from Holy Spirit before is different. I used to remember my dreams. My sleep patterns have changed a bit and so when I wake up, it's to a dog licking my face abruptly out of my sleep. I used to have time to ponder and reflect as I slowly woke up from that dream. So it's not that I'm not dreaming, I'm not retaining memory of the dream. As I asked the Lord about that, He said, "It's a different season. It's fresh manna."
So we have to constantly be receiving from the Lord in fresh ways, unfamiliar ways in each new season. In this season, I get visions regularly or impressions or pictures. Then, the Lord will add a deeper understanding of what I'm seeing it and why.
Yesterday at intercessory prayer, I was tired. I wasn't 'feeling' it. I was there, but I wasn't on the same page as the other intercessors. The majority was ready to war and dance and battle in the spirit for breakthrough. I just wanted to soak in God's presence and take a nap and hope for a download from heaven.
Pastor Matt was drumming on the drums and others were praying and exposing things being revealed by Holy Spirit. I started seeing a three ring circus.
As everyone was decreeing and binding, I was seeing a vision of a Three-Ring Circus. I asked the Lord, "What does this mean?" I felt like He said that the church as it is now has become a Three Ringed Circus. Why Three? Father, Son, Holy Spirit. The Ring Master is the one who controls what happens in the church. He decides how much of Father goes in a ring. How much, if any, of Holy Spirit can go into another ring. How much of Jesus can go into another ring. The church was never meant to become a show for spectators. People pay to go to the circus. For what? Entertainment. They get to see things they don't see everyday. They enable the abuse and mistreatment of circus animals all for a laugh, ooo, aww or two.
I boycotted circuses years ago. So this vision had even more of a stigma attached to it for me. Why? you ask? I am from Hookstown, PA. Anyone who knows of Hookstown, knows that yearly a huge fair is put on called the Hookstown Fair. One year, they had a three ring circus at the fair. I took my children. I sat there and instead of looking through the eyes of entertainment. God opened my eyes to see the heart of the animals. I sat there and watched the elephant trainer make these huge wondrous animals do stupid tricks for people's entertainment. It broke my heart. I became completely undone when a huge elephant was very close to me. As a mother of four small children, my guard was on high alert knowing that there had been a recent stampede in a circus involving the elephants...but I looked into the elephants eyes and I saw her/him crying. There were literal tears around the elephants eyes. I felt so sickened in my spirit...Like God, why? Why? are people so cruel? Why do we find pleasure in this amazing creature's imprisonment? Even in reliving this experience, I find tears streaming down my cheeks.
After that moment of realization that paying these clowns to mistreat elephants and endorse it by coming to circuses for my own entertainment, I boycotted circuses. This vision about being at a three-ring circus would go against my core beliefs. So here I am seeing this three ring circus in a vision. I said, "What else Lord?" He said His church was never meant to be a three ring circus. We are made in image of Father, Son, Holy Spirit. We are not to package it up and sell it. The church has become something he never designed it to be. It's chaotic. It's a bigtime business of selling the ringmaster's puffed up pride. It's controlled. It's time allotted. It's entertaining. People usually leave church the same way they leave a three ring circus. Unfulfilled, unchanged, and untouched by Father, Son, or Holy Spirit. Is the way the church functioning right now working? NO! I see more transformation take place when I go out onto the streets to minister. We are the church...Jesus is the chief cornerstone. Jesus told Peter that he was the rock on which he would build his church.
(Matthew 16:18 - "And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it." The very next verse is what we were literally doing during intercession...We were binding and loosing. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[e] loosed in heaven.”
God has given the five-fold ministry to the church. There should NEVER be a Ring Master containing which show or which part of the trinity to be displayed during the entertainment of church. That's not biblical. In Ephesians 4, we read.
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called;5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism;6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 4:1-6) Notice how it's all ONE...ONE body...ONE Spirit...ONE Lord. ONE Faith. ONE Baptism. ONE God and Father of all...it's not a circus. There shouldn't be division and different shows going on...It shouldn't be a place of disorder and chaos. We are to bear with one another in love. We are to make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the Bond of Peace. When something is bonded to another thing...It's like superglue. Try getting superglue off of your fingers...It's almost impossible. We are to be superglued to peace. Is this what most churches look like?
Let's look at what the root cause of why most churches are like three ring circuses. When you have a ring master controlling the environment and displaying shows...the focus is off of their personal lives. They don't have to be transparent and vulnerable. They bring in the clowns and displace attention off of their own lives. That gives permission to stay hidden in their own shame. They can keep sinning and pull out the grace card and never be exposed because they are too busy entertaining the critics with clowns and chaos. God wants transparency. God wants vulnerability. We are to confess our sins one to another. So then in exchange, the ringmaster will put the attention on the abused and wounded. That empowers them to feel elevated and above others.
We need to let go of our past. How? We need to be real. We need to deal. We need to confess, repent and receive the true forgiveness of Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit will wash away our muck and junk. The blood of Jesus redeems, restores, and cleanses us. What does shame do to the church?
Let's talk about the abuse of the animals in the circus. These animals are wild. They are meant to live in freedom. They were never meant to learn how to entertain in a circus. They are wild and are to be free. So let's look at us. We are the same. God created us to be wild and free. Holy Spirit comes down and tongues of fire appear. Demons flee, blind eyes open, deaf ears hear, mute speak, limp leap and salvations cause the angels in heaven to rejoice. This is wild! It's not chaotic. It's freedom. It's what the church is to look like. Does it? No! Why? ABUSE
"Abuse creates shame. An abused child feels powerless. Abuse may be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, or even spiritual. If the child seeks help and does not get it, they may decide that it is them who has done something wrong; I caused this, I did something to make this happen. Shame will grow from this simple lie!" -Sarah McDowell.
Shame may be transmitted directly through words spoken. Did you ever hear any of the following? "Everything was fine until you came along!" "You're no good!" "You're just like your father! You'll never amount to anything!" "Can't you do anything right?" "Don't you have any sense?" "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" "Shame on You!" "It's your fault."
This is chaotic. This is confusion. This is cursed word! This is how shame comes and what happened in the garden when Adam and Eve ate of the tree of good and evil? They became ashamed. They hid from God. See this three ring circus creates an environment where you can hide from God and never have to deal with your shame that was placed on you through blame and accusation.
Let's read from Ephesians 4 again, picking up at verse 7.
7 But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.8 This is why itsays:
“When he ascended on high, he took many captives and gave gifts to his people.”
9 (What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions?10 He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.)
11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers,12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. See, we were never meant to be a three ring circus. We are to become the body of Christ. ONE heart....ONE MIND....ONE Body! ONE SPIRIT! There should never be a ring master.... We were given the five fold gifts....1. Apostles, 2. Prophets, 3. Evangelists, 4. Pastors, 5. Teachers. Why? So the body of Christ may be built up...NOT TORN DOWN! Father, We repent of discord. We repent for allowing your church to become a three ring circus. We repent, Father, for coming to church to watch a show. We repent for allowing one man or woman to be elevated to a place of idolatry over you. We repent for making the church a money making business. We repent for watching and being entertained as abused ones are not set free to be who you created them to be. Father, forgive us. We ask that you cover us with the blood of the lamb. We ask Holy Spirit that you come in power and in might and refresh and revive the church. Awaken your bride, O God. Awaken your church. Open our eyes to see. Open our ears to hear. Awaken our hearts, O God! We thank you and praise you in Jesus name.
Arise and Shine for the Glory of the Lord has risen among you. Isaiah 60:1
We come to a point in our lives where we have to BLINDLY trust God! In Hebrews 11 verse 1, we are told that FAITH is the evidence of things HOPED for but not yet seen. Hmm...that pretty much sounds like your blindly hoping for something. Then in verse 6 of the same chapter, we are told that it's IMPOSSIBLE to please God without FAITH...
So what does that mean? It means that there is a process to receiving a promise...and seeing it through to completion. In that process, a change must take place in order to get to the other side of the anticipated fulfillment.
Let's look up the word PROCESS. It's a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end: To perform a series of mechanical or chemical operations on (something) in order to change or preserve it: -Oxford dictionary
Let's look at some examples of Processes....Since this is a blog and not a book, We are going to focus on just one example today. In the next few days, we'll look at some other examples of processes. We are all in a continual process. We are CHANGING/TRANSFORMING from GLORY to GLORY (2 Corinthians 3:18). We need to EXPECT and KNOW that this process is going to produce CHANGE. In the Change, there will be isolation, darkness, death, growth, new life, transformation, hope to reach our purpose of promises fulfilled. It's a cycle of life and I don't think we realize that it's normal to count it all joy through our various trials and testing. Process is truly for our own good. We are to count it PURE joy when we are in these processes...(James 1:3). Let's look allegorically at a seed and its process of transformation.
1. a SEED
Do you see how a seed must transform through a process that deliberately changes it through a growth process. A seed has potential to become a plant. One of the first steps a seed must take in the process is being thrust into the dark-solitary-confinement of isolation. In that darkness and isolation, it literally begins a dying a process. It has die in order to live. Wait, doesn't the word say something about that? For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. (Philippians 1:21) The plants process is called photosynthesis. The process by which green plants and certain other organisms transform light energy into chemical energy. During photosynthesis in green plants, lightenergy is captured and used to convert water, carbon dioxide, and minerals into oxygen and energy-rich organic compounds. So much science going on there...but to break it down simplistically...change, change, change.
I wrote this journal entry when the Lord began revealing to me how planting a seed is an act of faith.
O Lord, I am knocking on the door of expectant hope. I am seeking you in love. I am asking for the desires of my heart. In this journey of planting seed in the garden of earth. I am asking for my garden to be fruitful. Let it multiply and fill the earth. Even though I cannot see nor understand, I am believing that I have received the sprout of new life. I am filled with hope.
HOPE - Psalm 145 - Blessed are those whose hope is in the Lord their God. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
My hope is in you and you alone, my Lord. You are my delight daily-minute by minute; hour by hour. My thoughts are on you continually.
Proverbs 28:20 - A faithful man or woman shall abound with blessings.
The image I see is of a well-nourished, soil-enriched garden. The dirt and ground are ready for the planting of the seed. You spill the seed deep within the earth. Cover the seed with the soil and wait in expectation.
Is the seed/plant-life -living-breathing even if I can't see it? What is taking place in the depths of earth? Will this seed produce a living, viable green growth?
Is it not living just because we can't see it? Does the spilled seed produce life on its own or is there already life (DNA) within the cell's structure? Does the plant become a plant once the seed is sown into the earth and covered in deep utter-darkness? If you would take that same seed filled with potential life and sealed with complete DNA and set it on a table top would a plant begin to grow?
NO! There needs to be a process of planting before the hope of expecting can even begin. Once the sown seed is planted deep within the earth and covered with the soil. The process of creating new life immediately begins. Once the conception of seed meets soil, water, and sun; many, many things begin within this new creation. New growth-new life begins.
Even if we can't see the miraculous taking place, we have HOPE or EXPECTANCY that within weeks our FAITH in this garden will begin to sprout new life that eyes will begin to behold. But until our eyes behold the green sprout of new life, we have to walk by faith; DAILY trusting in the miracle of God's government of creation.
What happens if we dig into the soil and pluck this tender growth from its safety and protected capsule? It will wither and die. Hope deferred makes the heart grow weary (Proverbs 13:12).
Farmers know how unwise it would be not to have faith in planting and harvesting. They know there is much FAITH, HOPE, EXPECTANCY when gardening.
Faith is a must in the waiting game. Farmers know by experience once the seed is planted, new life begins. Seeds of Hope and Expectancy.
Job 8:19- "Behold, this is the joy of His way, and out of the earth others will grow."
Job 8:16-18 - They are like a well-watered plant in the sunshine, spreading its shoots over the garden, and entwines its roots around a pile of rocks and looks for a place among the stones but when it is torn from its spot, that place disowns it and says, "I never saw you." Surely, its life withers away and from the soil other plants grow.
So are you in a process now? Are you feeling isolated and lonely? Do you see nothing but darkness? It could be that you are in a process of learning to hope and trust in God alone. It could be He wants you to call out to him so He can show you great mysteries. He promises, He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Father,
I pray for the ones going through a process. Touch their hearts. Let them not grow weary in doing good. I ask Lord, that you comfort those who are mourning, give them beauty for ashes, joy for mourning. Surround them with your glory. As they are being kept in the cleft of the rock, may they experience your glory. Touch them with your presence and cover them in your glorious light.
(This is a link to a song that we sang during our time of soaking. May the Lord fill you with expectant hope today to believe He is faithful and will complete the good work he began in you).
Arise & Shine for the glory of the Lord has risen among you. Isaiah 60:1
It's interesting when we think, "Been there, done that!" Sure, I've went back and revisited my past where offenses have come in and people have hurt me. I've forgiven them. The past is in the past. I've moved on. Let me ask you; Have you truly? The Lord has taken me through so many layers of forgiveness checks. Some of those revisits have been so harsh...I've had to go into my memory bank and look at the ones who victimized me...I remembered the smells of that moment. The sights of that moment. The traumas of that moment. A rush of emotions came flooding into my soul. I even saw the violent act being replayed as in watching an old home movie again.
I heard Holy Spirit ask me, "Can you even forgive him?" I looked into the eyes of pure evil...and I said, 'Yes, Lord...I don't want anything holding me back from you!" Tears flowing, pain emerging; a release arose from deep within my being. There is such power in forgiveness! There were times I would look at this gorgeous little baby (me) and ask the Lord, "Why couldn't anyone love her? Why didn't she ever receive nurturing, affirmation, acceptance, love? Lord, it breaks my heart." He said, "what would you have done if she would have been in your life?" I replied, "I would have picked her up and told her how special she was. How much I loved her. How You had an amazing plan for her life. I would have held her tight and sang songs of love and affirmation over her." The Lord told me, "Then do that right now." In doing that, I was able to bring that part of my innocence back into my being. I was able to forgive those who neglected her and forsook her.
Holy Spirit is our Great Counselor. He has counseled me through my life and He has never, ever let me down. I really don't think people truly understand the power of forgiveness. The picture I continually see when I think about forgiveness is Snow White. The witch curses an apple. When Snow White bit into the apple, she fell into a deep sleep. Everytime, we bite into that poison apple of unforgiveness. We fall asleep. We poison ourselves. A slow death begins. Sorrow surrounds us and our loved ones. We keep ourselves in a state of lifelessness and dormancy. Life stops. We stop...We sleep...no advancing into our destinies...slumbering until our bodies die. UNLESS, we let the Prince of Peace into the room of our most intimate secrets, most devastating traumas...When we invite him into those tragic rooms of our hearts that we've kept locked and shut, he kisses us with one kiss of grace, mercy and forgiveness and we awaken! We LIVE! We are REVIVED!
My life is truly this verse in a nutshell...If I chose not to forgive those who hurt me and betrayed me while growing up, I would have never, ever awakened to my destiny. I would have laid dormant as Sleeping Beauty...a wasted life! My Prince Charming, JESUS, kissed me with one HOLY kiss...When grace kissed mercy...and forgiveness kissed all of my ugliness...I came to life! As Sleeping Beauty arose; AWAKE, she says, "You found me!" Prince Charming replied, "You don't have to worry, I WILL ALWAYS find you!" Let's all take a deep breath there! When we were lost, He came and found us! LOVE Awakens DEATH...Love is stronger than the Grave! His love is BETTER than life! His love and forgiveness is LIFE-GIVING! DEATH AWAKENING! RESURRECTING! We have the power to forgive others so we can let our Prince Charming FIND us!
There was a sleeping BEAUTY inside of me. What was that beauty? The ability to forgive those who hurt me. The willingness to let the offenses and trauma go! The desire to wake up and live! I'd much rather be a Sleeping Beauty...Than a Sleeping Ugly! Some will never let unforgiveness go...and they become more ugly on the inside.
Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Matthew 18:22 (RSV)
What does the Greek word (aphiēmi) 'Forgive' mean? cry, forgive, forsake, lay aside, leave, let (alone, be, go, have), omit, put (send) away, remit, suffer, yield up, to send forth, yield up, to expire
The word has an overwhelming amount of definitions...One of the words is DIVORCE...We need to divorce ourselves from the bitterness and hatred keeping us from forgiving those who sinned against us. (to bid going away or depart, of a husband divorcing his wife) This is very interesting seeing all these different meanings of this Greek word. It's almost like if you don't forgive the one who sins against you for whatever crime they did against you, the opposite of forgiveness will take root).
(aphiēmi) -I FORGIVE
to let go, let alone, let be
to disregard
to leave, not to discuss now, (a topic)
of teachers, writers and speakers
to omit, neglect
to let go, give up a debt, forgive, to remit
to give up, keep no longer
to permit, allow, not to hinder, to give up a thing to a person
to leave, go way from one
in order to go to another place
to depart from any one
to depart from one and leave him to himself so that all mutual claims are abandoned
to desert wrongfully
to go away leaving something behind
to leave one by not taking him as a companion
to leave on dying, leave behind one
to leave so that what is left may remain, leave remaining
abandon, leave destitute
Peter was trying to be all "I know this answer, Jesus...up to seven times, I'm to forgive a brother who sins against me...go ahead tell me I'm right!" When in fact, Jesus told him, "I tell you, not just seven times, but 77 times! Matthew 18:22 (ISV) The English Revised Versions says, "Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven."
That's a continual forgiveness....What do you think happens when we don't forgive?
It causes all types of other ailments in our physical bodies. Not only do we separate ourselves from the Father. We separate ourselves from health and wholeness. The crux of the gospel is forgiveness...We are to forgive others as Christ forgave us. If you need a reality check, watch The Passion of the Christ. It will open your eyes to 'forgiving others as Christ forgave us.' He was an innocent man. He did everything right. For that, he was spit upon, mocked, bruised, beaten, smitten, forsaken, used, abused, whipped, stripped, naked, ashamed, scorned, hated, despised. Yet, he forgave. He forgave us while we put him on the cross with our mockery of who HE is and was. He loves us with an UNCONDITIONAL love. Love without conditions. We are to love our enemies. Sometimes, those closest to us become our greatest foe. Sometimes, it's our own memories of what we did, that we cannot forgive. Sometimes, it's the deepest, darkest places inside of us that we condemn and become bitter against. We fight against our own demons. We become guilty and condemn ourselves too much to let it go. What if they knew? What would they think? Who is 'they?' anyways. When Adam and Eve ate the 'poisoned' apple, they suddenly were naked and ashamed. God replied to them, "Who told you that you were naked?" Who is it that is telling you that you cannot forgive yourself? Who is telling you that others couldn't forgive you? Who is telling you that God can't forgive you? It truly is the TRUTH that sets you free. When you can stare the truth in the face and become friends with it, lies become shadows in the light of truth.
I had a dream many years ago of someone in my family. In my dream, she had cancer. She had cancer because she couldn't forgive someone. I woke up KNOWING this to be the root cause of entry point of that spirit of infirmity. I knew I had to go to my relative and tell her about my dream and ask her if there was someone in whom she couldn't forgive. She had lung cancer. The woman never smoked while I knew her. With her oxygen intact, I told her about my dream and then I asked her the question if there was someone whom she couldn't forgive. She began crying. She said, "I can't forgive that person. They don't deserve my forgiveness. What they did was wrong and I'll never give them the chance to not be guilty of what they did to me." I began explaining how she was only imprisoning herself that the person who sinned against her could care less about my relative's feelings. I said, "she's not the one suffering with cancer, is she?" My relative began getting it...She let me pray for her. The breath of the Lord breathed upon her. Mind you, she was on oxygen...She had her eyes closed, we are praying and she suddenly opened her eyes and said, "Did you feel that?" I said, "No, what did you feel?" She said she felt a wind blow over her...It felt like someone turned up her oxygen because she could breath so freely. She felt like it was a windy day inside where we were. I knew the Lord was kissing her with grace and mercy to forgive her offender. She was awakening from years of being dormant and tormented.
For some forgiveness comes easily...if you have a story like mine, it was either life or death. I either died in unforgiveness at birth or live and forgive. As I mentioned before, there were several very hard ones to forgive...and even though I had thought I'd forgiven them, it was the Lord bringing their faces and details back in the moment to see if I could truly forgive their heinous crimes...Step by step, He leads us. For others, forgiving yourself may be the hardest challenge you face. Let me encourage you, when you ask for forgiveness, your sins are so far removed as the east is from the west.
As high as the sky is above the earth, so great is his love for those who respect him. 12 He has taken our sins away from us as far as the east is from west. 13 The Lord has mercy on those who respect him, as a father has mercy on his children. (Psalm 103:11-13) NCV If a perfect, loving God can forgive you, what is your offense against yourself. Let it go! Let God! Let it Go! Let God! Let it Go! Let God...awaken you with one kiss of mercy, grace, and forgiveness.
Christ August pretty much sums up forgiveness in this song 70 x 7.
Who is this coming up from the wilderness, leaning on the arm of her Beloved? Song of Songs 8:5
I am loved!
I am cherished!
I am valued!
I am His treasure!
I just finished a four-week Grief Group. I attended because I want to learn all I can about Counseling. It's amazing how God sets you up when you think you're ok. One week, we had to draw a timeline of our lives and make lines on it according to traumas we have experienced. I look at the Facilitator with a blank face; 'like for real?' My entire childhood will have line after line after line on the timeline, starting at birth. I look around and everyone has started. I pick up the sharpie and begin drawing my lines. Line after line after line after line. It started at birth. My grandma told me that the first time she met me, I was a few weeks old. My mom was 18 and had secrets hiding in her heart. She couldn't handle the newborn cries. My grandma said she began shaking me to make me stop crying. My grandma scolded her...but who knows...only God knows how many times she used this method to shake me quiet. We now know this is called "Baby Shaking Syndrome."
That was the first line at birth. The second line was when I turned two years old. My mom and dad were separated. My dad kidnapped me. My mom and grandma didn't know what else to do to get him to return me...They tricked my dad. He returned me...They went to court and in the custody hearing, my father was told that he wasn't really my father. Heartbroken, he left me. He left me with her. A broken young single mother who couldn't handle a lively, active two year old. The traumas...The neglect. The shame. The loneliness. The abandonment. The rejection. The abuse...This was age 2. We will stop there. I'm sure you are getting a very clear picture of how the timeline looked.
Every year of my childhood, I experienced trauma after trauma after trauma. As I continue the timeline onto adult life, I began realizing something about my life. I lived with an Expectation of Abuse. I expected abuse. I expected pain. I expected rejection. I expected abandonment. I expected neglect. It's all I had ever known. It was my life. When I gave my life to Jesus, I began to realize I really was loveable to him. I really was acceptable to him. I really meant something to him. He really did love me. He really did cherish me. He really did accept me just the way I was. He didn't expect anything but my love in return. Those who are forgiven of much, love much. I love Jesus so much. He truly loved me back to life. I was dead. I walked around pretty much like a zombie before his love redeemed my life and restored my soul. Still, that expectation of abuse shadowed me in the light of his love. He became everything I had always longed for in my life. He was my Abba Pappa. He adopted me through the spirit of adoption (Romans 8).
He's so faithful to me. He's so gracious and loving. He's so close and merciful. He's so good! He truly did heal my heart. He restored me. He redeemed me. His love overwhelmed me and I truly did become a new creation. My prince charming had come and with one tender kiss of his grace, mercy, acceptance, and unconditional love...I awoke as his Sleeping Beauty.
Ivan Allum prayed for me several years ago and I truly believe this word is manifesting in my life right now. I am writing the vision and making it plain (Habakkuk 2:2). When life doesn't turn out the way you planned and you are so disappointed in yourself. You begin to feel like a failure. Sometimes, you make choices and those choices have lasting consequences that you have no control over. You have to trust God and let him finish writing your story. He is the author of my life. He is faithful to complete the good work he began in me (Philippians 1:6). Sometimes, he gives us pages to our books of destiny. This word is a page out of my life scroll. I'm so thankful that the Lord speaks life into our broken-heartedness, filling us with hope and faith to believe the winter season will end and spring is right around the corner! Jesus, I love you. Romance me, King of Kings...Dance with me, lover of my soul. I am yours...You are mine. Your banner over me is love!
Dear, I want you to know this, “You have NOT failed!You have carried something inside
of you for a long time.You’ve felt
like, “God, there’s been a failing in my life.And the Lord says, “You have NOT failed!”You know what amazes me in all of that?You have been an absolute giver of
life to people around you.You have been
a lady that has spoken the best over people.You have been a lady that has spoken
life over people.You have been a lady that has given love away.And the
Lord says, “Well done, but the Lord says, now, it’s going to be time for
you to reap of that harvest; amen”You’re
going to feel those things and for the first time in a long, long time you’re
going to feel that passion of God inside of you.You know, you’re gonna start waking up
with the butterflies. You know the
butterflies of when you feel you’re loved.You know you’re gonna have butterflies when you love someone else but
when you feel those butterflies feeling when you’re loved.
You know when that emotion rises up inside of
you because you know that there’s some guy that is pursuing you because of who
you are not because of what you are but because of who you are.You know when he’s pursuing you because he
says you know I just wanna be with you.No more, no less.I just wanna be
your protector.I just want to stand
around you.You know those butterflies.You know the butterflies that come with
absolute romance. Yeah, you’re gonna feel those butterflies. You know just like that young lady in the Song
of Solomon when she would tell her friends have you seen my lover.You know she’d explain this guy and you know she
was so in love with him they couldn’t understand who she was talking
about.By the time they caught up to her
revelation, she had another revelation of who he was.You know dear, you’re gonna walk in that;
amen.
Put me like a seal over your heart, Like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, Jealousy is as severe as Sheol; Its flashes are flashes of fire, The very flame of the LORD. Raging water cannot extinguish love, and rivers will never wash it away. If a man exchanged all his family's wealth for love, people would utterly despise him. (Song of Solomon 8:6-7)
I will pursue you, Lord. I will pursue your presence. I want to just be with you, Lord. I just want to be in your presence. Your love...your love overwhelms my heart. The blaze of your gaze consumes me. The fiery flames of your passionate love burns away my ugliness and leaves me radiant and glowing. Overshadow me with your love and your glory. Here I am, Lord. Here I surrender all my pain. I surrender all my brokenness. I surrender all my disappointment and traumas. I surrender all that holds me back from you! Have your way in my life. The winter is passing...o springtime is coming. You've captured my heart. Forever, it's yours!
I am in an expanse of time where the seasons are changing. I can feel the change. I can sense things are changing. Depending on the approaching season, is the level of excitement or sadness. I do not look forward to the winter season one little tiny bit. I don't like cold. I don't like being barricaded inside a building with no fresh air or warm breezes for months upon months. When fall turns into winter, I am not impressed or excited at all. Winter is death. It's silence. It's barrenness. It's isolation. It's darkness. It's stale and cold. 
